Day Eight

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Wow I was so mentally fatigued last night I fell asleep around 9pm.
Anyway, as anyone who is reading my blogs can see I started writing about my actual past from the beginning. It’s been a challenge seeing that written down for the first time. Not even I’m a journal did I do it. I was ashamed of myself, let alone putting it out in public. But I think it’s going well. I’m still pissed, depressed, an hurt by it all. But part of me feels a bit of relief too.
Yesterday’s mood was decent. Actually did remember to take my meds. Yay me!! Worked fine, no issues there. Got back to my rental unit fine, no stupid traffic.
I even did some of my older habits that I stopped doing six months ago. I do android development. I stopped because it was one of the things that I buried myself in to hide from the pain. But I also hid from my wife. Which is reason number #82 on why I’m not there right now. I limited myself on time to one hour. As where before it got longer and longer every day. Until every free moment I was doing something. My creativity was exploding and I couldn’t do it fast enough. But I am learning how to effectively manage my time and do multiple things that I like all in one day so I feel more complete.
I think after all my pain, crying, and everything else in between is what knocked me out so early.
But overall, it was a fairly calm night. The first one I have had in a very long time. Years I expect, but it’s hard to say since I don’t remember much over the last few years.
So I will end this on a bright note.

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