Meaningless Existence

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Have you ever just leaned back an wondered why your here?
What the point is?
What are you supposed to be learning from this experience?
The voices in my head keep my mind constantly running. Telling me that I’m doing something wrong. That I will ruin this or that.
I have such a hard time remembering anything. Peoples names are the worst. The other day I helped a lady an had to relay a message. She told me her name. The only way I remembered it was to say it over and over again until I got to where I needed to be.
Sadly the easiest thing to remember is the painful memories. All the times I’ve hurt someone. All the things I could now do differently if given the chance.
I can look at my arms an can clearly remember most of the times I cut. I can’t remember the why, but the razor was there.

My energy levels have dropped a bit. I’m left to watching TV. No matter what type of show I’m watching, I’m crying at some point. Then I get that click in my head??
Why am I crying?
And it stops.
I have no clue what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I’m “getting better” lmfao
It just all seems for nothing.

I’m just so tired. So tired of being me

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