Confusion

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What is “normal”?

My psychologist today told me he believes I’m getting closer to the normal?

What the hell does that even mean?

He thinks that because I’ve been so used to the bipolar swings, that where I’m heading is the calmer times?

I explained that I just don’t feel. I’m not happy. I can’t cry. I’m just here?

Is this truly what normal feels like? Normal is like your dead inside?

I’ve still gotta wonder, how is this better than where I was before? At least before I could enjoy a night out. I could listen to a song on Pandora an get mentally moved.

I hate being me.

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8 responses to “Confusion

  1. YOU’RE the normal one. Reality is how we distort it, how we chose to live life. You live realistically. Without sounding morbid, life is a cruel place. I always say, oblivion is a flaw, awareness is a fatal flaw. Sometimes when we think about too things too much, it makes matters worse. Try to change your thoughts by thinking positive! You will soon start to believe them and ‘normal’ will be possible. Don’t be anyone elses normal though, be your own.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I over think everything too. I’ve always been a pessimist. It’s like my brain just automatically sees the negative for some reason. I don’t know what that has to do with anything but I saw your previous comment so that’s what made me think of it. Being dead of all feelings definitely isn’t “normal” in the sense that this is where our normal gauge should be, but it is normal in the sense that we are all human beings and sometimes we get into these funks, you know?

    Ok, random question, are you having issues with your WordPress Reader? I can only scroll down so far before it tells me I can’t scroll anymore. that’s never happened before.????????

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hugs. That sounds awful. It isn’t “normal” not to have feelings. Sure, it’s normal not to have moodswings but it’s normal to have moods!! Who even is this psychologist of yours?! Clearly has issues.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Becky.
      He actually seems like a good psychologist. His thoughts are that my conceived perception of the “normal” is so skewed from a lifetime of swings left correctly untreated that I don’t know how to react to this new feeling. Which is at least partially correct.
      So I guess I’ll wait this out for a little bit longer :/

      Like

      • That does make sense, actually. I think maybe my idea of normal is a little skewed too, hence the reaction to what your psychologist said :/ It’s worth waiting it out if you think he’s good, though. Definitely… good ones are hard to come by.

        Like

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