Day One

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First night back home.

It was different than I expected. I’m not sure what I expected to happen.

I seemed a little indifferent to the whole situation. I spent the day with my dogs hanging out and unpacking my stuff.

As I sat in my new room, once called the spare bedroom, I couldn’t help but notice the calming colors.
This was a room I had completely decorated. Light pastel blue, with light wainscoting. It was warm and inviting.

I never expected myself in that room.
I never expected to have to sleep in there.

But for now, it’s my new home. It’s where I will lay my head for now until something new happens.

My mind seems a bit at ease. I’m sleeping again better than I was in the last few years.

I don’t know how long this part of my life will last, but I’m determined to live in it. It’s been such an uphill battle.
I don’t know if my wife will ever truly love me again. I’m not sure if she has it in her to.
For now, I live day to day. Looking at the future just depresses me.

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7 responses to “Day One

  1. I’m glad that, at least for now, you seem at peace. I haven’t been reading your blog long enough to know what all happened with your wife, but I hope that part of your life works out, too.

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      • Gotcha. I’ve been there. I lost a lot of people dear to me when I stopped taking mine, too. But now I’m learning who the important people are. The people who know I’m worth sticking around for. I hope she sees one day that it isn’t easy or simple for you, and that she comes to accept you as you are.

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