Not as Good

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I’m sorry.

I can say it’s not much of a relief. At least not for me. The only thing I like is that there is blood on the screen of my phone.

You can’t imagine how hard it is to make a circular letter. I kept cutting and cutting and it just didn’t turn out as expected.

How disappointed.

What didn’t surprise me is that I didn’t feel it. There was just the smallest tingle, but it wasn’t anything.
There was no agony.
There was no cringe.

At that moment I was an artist on a blank canvas. But as I would think, most artists would expect some relief from work.

I didn’t get any. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Just a pretty picture.

I got drunk an all I got from it was this lousy scar.

I guess there’s always tomorrow. I still have another leg to try. Only issue is I’m not left handed and things never turn out as good. I carved Korn in my right shoulder and it’s all crooked. I guess that just means practice.

Practice makes perfect as my OCD self would say.

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3 responses to “Not as Good

  1. I know this post is kind of fucked up, and my comment is gonna be kind of fucked up, but I’m also pretty fucked up. I just wanted to say though that your “B” is very nicely rounded. I can appreciate that it wasn’t easy…. for reasons that are different from what most people would think.
    And now I’ll give you some advice that I myself hate hearing, so sorry in advance, but….. Don’t lose hope. There is still a possibility it will get better.

    Like

  2. I don’t know what to say. I never when down the cutting path. Fortunately, the furthest I got was settijng a date to take my life after living with the suicidal ideation for over 12 months.
    Your picture is distressing.

    Like

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