What the fuck.
How the hell do you start?
I would guess me getting out of hiding would be a place to work off of but that’s just thought.
I can’t make it out of my hole. I’m buried in depression and guilt.
How do I pretend to find someone amusing if I feel like a piece of shit? Why would anyone want to talk to me?
I look physically decent, or so I’ve been told. I’ve been told a lot of things over the years. But getting to know me would turn off even the drunkest girl.
I’m scared as my self esteem lowers, my standards will as well. Not that I’ve ever given a shit what she looked like.
I’ve fucked all kinds at one point or another.
But I’ve never been here before. I can barely leave the house anymore. I go to work and rush home.
Think I’m afraid to meet anyone. Every time I go somewhere I’m the one getting flirted with now. My lion has turned into a scared kitten. I brush them off, put my head down, and keep going.
My OCD seems to be getting worse. I can’t stop fidgeting. Rubbing. Picking. Something.
I just plain don’t know what to do?
How do I move forward?