I’ve always been told that I shouldn’t mix alcohol and medication. But like the stubborn dumbass I am, I never listen an drink as much as possible. I’d like to say that mixing the two doesn’t effect me at all, but I’m not sure. Its very possible that its one of the things making me so depressed. I have definitely been drinking more now than I have in quite a while.
Take tonight for example, just got home from the bar. We get a slight discount since were regulars at the bar. But I still managed to spend almost $40.
So I’m fairly plowed right now.
I’m just plain done.
I’m done with being here.
I’m so tired of just existing.
I’m so tired of living day to day.
The monotony is killing me, I don’t need to help it.
Have you ever just sat there an hurt so bad inside that you feel like your chest is melting?
Something is burning your heart out?
What is the face of depression?
Is there a face? A look? A specific quality about someone that says, hey I’m fucked up in the head?
The face of someone depressed is just like your neighbor. Its the guy you thought was fine. Its you. Its me.
Taken a few weeks ago. I hate taking pictures of me. Guess its mostly cuz I hate me?
Does this look like a person who is completely depressed? A person who could care less about himself or if anything were to happen to him?
A person who cuts? A person who likes to cut? A person who has such low self esteem about themselves that looking at this picture they want to cut their face out of it because if the ugliness inside?
I think I’ve posted a picture or two of me. Didn’t ever plan on it for fear of someone I’ve done wrong in my life seeing it an hunting me down. At this point, I welcome it.
Please, just do it.
I’m just worn out. I can’t take much more. My heart doesn’t want to beat anymore. It calls out in agony, asking for forgiveness.
Please forgive me for the pain I’ve caused all my life.
Forgive my sins.
Let me go in peace please. I can’t take much more of this life.