Sex can be just that, sex…
In a shameless statement, its my birthday.
Single now (kinda)
And my bipolar is going in all kinds of directions.
I’m kinda drunk
Its my first birthday alone. Nobody to share it with. My marriage all but gone. I hurt inside.
At the same time. My mania is setting back in…mixed as always. I hate that
I can always tell because my testosterone is high anyway. And when it starts to rise, I get jittery.
I swear I’ll fuck any girl who smiles at me.
But I know that its all fake. I think anyways.
I act charming, and happy. But girls see thru it.
Probably because while I feel like I’m doing well, on the outside I’m just not.
I have a kinda date tonight. A birthday date. With someone not my wife. Not sure how long I get her for, she has stuff of her own to deal with.
We both are just coming out of relationships. We know each other already. Just never went out on our own before.
It seems like forever since I’ve been on a “date”
With how I feel right now, I’m gonna hold back everything I can to not just jump her when I see her. Although I can’t guarantee that either. Lol
Were going out as “friends” but we both have an attraction for each other. Its always been there.
She’s probably seen me naked a half dozen times already. I used to change in front of her. Would say, I’m getting naked now. If you want to leave, now is the time to do it. But she never left. Would kind of advert her eyes, but I could see her watching me.
One time there was a handful of us that went to a concert. Afterwards, her an her bf and me an my wife rode home together. My wife being frisky, decided to give me a blowjob while in their back seat.
I was trying to pay attention to what was going on, but I couldn’t help notice she watched the entire thing. I had an orgasm looking into “her” eyes.
Another concert we all went to, we were in the edge of a mosh pit. Six of us were standing together.
My wife was 2 people over from me and she was in front of me. She reached back an asked if I was there with her. Then she reached her arm around and gave me a quick hand job. I didn’t finish, we were in a concert an all. But her hand was in my pocket wrapped around my cock. When she slipped her hand in my pocket, she looked over her shoulder to “ask” with her eyes if it was OK. I pulled her closer an it went from there.
I’m not sure what to think of tomorrow. Or today since it’s later today were going out. I’m a bit nervous to say the least. Also horny as fuck. Which I already told her about a few days ago. She still agreed to meet.
But there is no mutual place to go. She’s staying with family till she finds a place. I’m still staying with my wife till I find a place…
I’m so confused. Guess I’ll just let happen what happens.
Neither of us want a relationship. We both see relationships as a struggle.
But is there anything wrong with having sex? Just whenever?
Can there be sex without any feelings what so ever? Like really no feelings even though you already know the person?
Ughh, guess I’ll keep drinking till I find an answer. Lol