Ending worry

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Having lived my life and dealing woth bipolar, OCD, anxiety, ptsd, and panic attacks I’ve learned one very important thing.

If I try hard enough, I will find something wrong.

I over analyze everything. My mind goes eight steps past current events in every possible direction. Probably a reason I’ve liked chess an played fairly well…

But I’ve come to another crossroad in my life.

I’ve been thinking of so many things that my mind physically hurts. Sleeping is a bitch.

So I’ve chosen to say fuck it.

I cannot control events.
I cannot force my mental stability.
I cannot know what will happen tomorrow.

But…

I can control my reactions to events.
I can control how I handle my mania.
I can choose what I do tomorrow.

The recent events in my life have been a great challenge. I’ve come very close to doing something stupid. But through it all, I have persevered.

So I am choosing to let it all just happen.

Controlling myself, and living my life to its fullest without regrets.

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