Life of Lies


So.’s been about a month since I posted anything.

I’ve been pretending again.

Pretending everything was ok
Pretending I was fine

But it’s not.

Got dumped again tonight. Didn’t really come out of nowhere.
Yesterday we were talking about vacations we wanted to take together. Maybe they were just places she wanted to go?

Looking back at every relationship I’ve ever had, it always comes eventually. It’s something you start to think about.

I’m that person. The one who is the end result. The one who brings the end.

Maybe I should start to rethink myself. Gotta do laundry tomorrow, sadly blood stains don’t come out well.

At one point I had thought about leaving everything behind. Not like I’d be missed.


I took enough sleeping pills, I shouldn’t be awake right now or anytime soon . But apparently it wasn’t enough. Maybe the beer wasn’t enough? I ran out of rum…

I hate being me


5 responses to “Life of Lies

  1. I feel you….As usual. I’d love to tell you how it’s gonna get better…. But I won’t because I know you’re sick of hearing that stupid shit. I will tell you the same thing I tell myself when every morning my body, very unfortunately, awakes from whatever it is that I do at night….I think calling it “sleep” is comical…. Anyway, push through, man, push through it…. eventually we will die and my thought is that if I let it happen without me forcing it (nevermind the slow suicide I am currently engaged in via alcohol) that perhaps wherever my energy goes, IT WON’T COME BACK TO THIS FUCKING DUMP OF A PLANET…. The thought of having to do this shit again cause I cut out too early keeps me pushing on…. Also the thought of pulling the trigger, missing my brain and just shooting off my nose….yeah, that’s my other thought that keeps me PUSHING THROUGH THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT.
    Love you. I would miss you.

    Liked by 1 person

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