Good Day?

I’m terrified to write today. 

Today was a good day. I’ve never written about my good days before in fears I would jinx myself. 

I’ve handled some life situations and got some control back along with some sanity. 

A dear friend called and had the need in her voice and I went over and hung out with her a bit. She’s newly on antidepressants. Trying to adjust. We talked a few hours before she wanted to go to bed, I definitely know the sleeping…but it felt good to be there for her. She’s one of those who hate when you say nice stuff too. 

I don’t do it on purpose, I’m just a emotional bipolar Leo. Horrible sometimes. Lol

But we talked and hugged good night and tonight was a first. She told me she loved me for the first time as we walked away from each other. I swear my heart stopped for a moment. Not to ruin the moment, I said it back and walked away. 

Get home, and talking to another sweet girl. 

I’m so scared. A few things are going well. About to move finally. I’m terrified of the bottom falling out. 

I’m the think the worst guy. So when something bad happens, you expected it. And if by chance something good happens then it’s a bonus. 

So now that things seem so right, I’m freaking the fuk out. 

Ugghh

OK, well I’ve been drinking and smoking tonight too. Great combination with medication I know. Oh well, lol

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