Happy and Depressed?

So I’m trying to understand these things going on right now. Everything seems like it’s happening finally and so many things are about to change again. 

I’m happy to be moving forward to finding me. A me with a degree soon. What options can that now open? Travel abroad? 

Get out if this crazy ass country where I don’t want either as President. That’s all I’m saying, if you don’t like it I’m sorry. Unfollow me if you feel necessary. I say shit, this is for me. Not anyone else. 

I’m trying to sort out all my feelings to deal with each one separately instead in the huge mass they are currently in. Imagine my feelings now as that huge balls of wrongly put away Xmas lights that formed into a ball in the last year. That’s what’s in my head right now. So I guess I’m a bit off I’d say. 

But when I realized that I was losing ground I did the only thing I could do and maintain sanity. I dropped a class. Start again next week took 2 weeks off. I was behind and about to burst at the seems and unravel. 

Well, 2 weeks later im feeling better. Rested. And actually a little happy and excited. 

New beginnings. 

At the same time thinking of what I’m leaving behind. It hurts. I will admit it, I still cry about it. What it was. . But I have to go. I’m going to miss my current family. I wish the best for them. It wasn’t me, I realise that. 

But YES!!!!!

New beginnings. Where will I be lead too? I absolutely know it’s not here. But I’m currently clueless as to where else that may be. It will come, in time it will reveal itself like all things have. 

Have a good night everyone


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