When to tell that someone new that you are BiPolar??



This is a question that I have struggled with for so many years. I searched online and there are so many articles about just this question. At what point do you spill the beans???

Well there are really only three options:

  1. Do it early…. Not date number one, that will make them run for sure. But by say date number 3 or 4 when things are starting to move forward.
    1. Reason behind this one is simple. To not let either party get too invested in the relationship if they decide to bail on you.
  2. Do it somewhere middle of the relationship…After you are comfortable with the person you are with and think they can take the news. It really is a lot to handle, and truthfully most cannot.
    1. Reason for this one…You show them the person that you are now. That you are able to control your illness, not the other way around. This way, they already know who they think you are and the news may surprise them. And quite possibly go over well. And again, it may not. There are so many negative stigmas attached to being bipolar that no amount of education of experiences can help someone explain that it is not the end of the world and that you are not going to put them in a dumpster somewhere during one of your manic episodes. lol
  3. Don’t ever tell them and hide it…Let me tell you from experience, this does not work at all. Unless you are with a complete moron, they will eventually figure out something is off with you no matter how good you have a handle on the situation. They are at some point bound to find the medication bottles hidden somewhere. Or if you are attempting to do it unmedicated, you are risking a lot.


I haven’t posted since last summer. I had just moved into a new place. Since then I have had yet another failed relationship from my illness. Around November I fell into a depression that lasted until February. She knew I was bipolar, I did the second one and told her after we were comfortable with each other. She even read some books about it and I thought was going to be ok with it.

But I was stuck in that hole for four months and she couldn’t pull me out. We had a brief attempt at trying it again, but she again said she was scared that now I was going into a manic phase because the me she knew before was not the person she had just met again. She said she was sorry but was not strong enough to handle it anymore.

I am so tired of hearing that.

I met another girl last week, went on a few dates. Things were going crazy good, so on the second date I told her. We were over by the end of the week. With a text message I got today that read:

I can’t get past your disorder hun, I’m sorry….


I do not have issues getting dates. I am vain, I know I am attractive. The problem is keeping them. I go on all those dating apps and websites and I get messaged daily by someone new. But the problem still remains…



I can not change who I am or what is wrong with me. At some point do I just throw in the towel and forget about trying to have a relationship?? Just go on a date or two, then run away?


I am so done with this. Not surprising there is a full moon. All the crazies are out?? MUAH, maybe I should go outside and howl at the moon like the beast women think I am?


12 responses to “When to tell that someone new that you are BiPolar??

  1. I always ponder on this myself. I used to pretty much drop that bomb right away, not wanting to waste anyone’s time. I have a feeling the prospect of sex kind of overrides that concern for the males at first. 😉 The ‘I can’t do this anymore!’ might come a lot later, when the cons start to get in the way. Like mood for sex. I thought my latest take on this might be that since I am all about not letting the illness define me, just to go with it and say nothing at all. Let the person get to know me (my crazy is pretty stable these days.). BUT. Me and my big mouth. It comes out regardless. Not totally sure if this is just because I am that open about it or that terrified and insecure. Good question. 🙂


    • Well being a male, its not the prospect of sex that overrides it for me. Its whether they will stick around after you drop the “I’m crazy” bomb on them.
      I ended up telling my current gf after our second date. I was terrified I wasnt going to hear from her again. But I can say it’s going better than I expected.


  2. The subject has been circling my head for quite some time. I’m glad I’m not the only one that struggling with it. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be better to find somebody else that has some sort of mental illness to be your companion. My only reasoning for that right now is at least they have first-hand experience on what it’s like. You can read all you like in a book but until you experience it for yourself there is no understanding it.


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