Apparently I have changed more than I thought. I think I wrote about my break up with my girlfriend a few months ago. I attempted to try to go back to my old life. Having sex and it being just that, sex. Found two women in a few weeks that I had sex with and it was decent sex. One got really clingy and I had to push her away, she wasn’t my type at all. She knew going into it that we were just sexual partners and that was it.
Maybe it was wrong of me to have two different women in such a short time span. I know I am in a bit of a hypomanic and hypersexual phase right now, but I am trying to ignore it. I’m exercising to get past it. So far it has been working, but I don’t know how long for and that worries me a bit.
I have tried and met a bunch from those dating apps, but all they want from me is sex. I have been told before that I am attractive, by more than a few of the women I have met. This seems so backwards for me to be thinking this way, but I do not want to be just a piece of meat anymore??
Ten years ago, I would be waist deep in women and not giving two shits about any of them. But something has changed me. Changed me inside.
I want more…
I need more….
The little bit of heart I have left needs more attention than I give it.