Ive been single now for four months. Had ups and downs. But I want to think I am doing ok and better.
Then days like today come. My roommate has moved out a few weeks ago. She slowly was home less and less. Now its official.
Alone in a 4 bedroom house. Ive pretty much stayed in my room to do everything. Eat, watch tv, homework, etc.
I have a 55″ tv in the living room with nice surround sound system that I haven’t used in months.
There’s something about sitting alone in the living room that feels more alone. Maybe its the big open space. It just feels empty. Im feeling empty. I have to have music playing loudly just to feel ok???
In my room I guess I have a sense of security? Its smaller so I feel safer?
Am I hiding?
I have hardly any friends anymore. None that will come visit me.
I have so much good going and at the same time I feel so lost and alone.
I don’t know how else to describe it.
I hate this feeling!
Why won’t it stop? Why won’t it go away? What am I trying to fill? What void is missing?
I feel like there is a part of me that is forever lost.