haPPy??

So, I am at a point that I have never been at in my life.

I am not fully sure, but I believe this is called happy?

I have been in two failed marriages. One additional engagement that also failed. And countless failed smaller relationships. But I met someone new. I know its still new, think we met a few months ago? But only recently have started seeing each other on a more consistent basis.

We are taking things very slowly as we both have had bad relationships in our pasts and want to do things right. This relationship is so different than all my other ones. I have always had to be a certain way.

 

 

Change this..

Don’t say that…

blah blah blah…

This is the first time I can be just me and be accepted for that with open arms. Yes she already knows that I am bipolar and thanked me for telling her as she knew how hard it was for me to say.

She is such a great woman. She gives back to the community at a non-profit organization. She believes in me. She sees me doing great things even when I can’t see it myself. She has brought me so much happiness in such a short amount of time that my head is spinning a little in amazement.

I have not told her about this plan of mine yet. We are seeing each other tomorrow and I am going to pick her brain about it as well. She is so smart. I know she will support this idea.

I am at the end of my classes, done at the end of this month. And with my promise to myself two years ago, I joined three bipolar and depression groups local to my area today.

I plan on going to the one group, it is a little drive but I want to go and help. I figure If I can do that and stay with it, maybe at a future point start my own support group near me. I know there are more people around here that have issues with nowhere to go. Nobody to help them. Nobody to listen to their words.

I know I am not a licensed therapist and don’t think I can start back in school for something completely different. But with that being said, I have personal experience with being bipolar for 30 years. I know all the good and bad it has caused me in my life.

I do not know how much help I could offer, but I want to try. I have been in some very dark places that I barely escaped from. It makes me think back to all the psychologists and psychiatrists and yes they have taken classes on how to help those in need. But none have ever experienced it first hand.

It always bothered me that I was being told what to do by someone who has no idea why I am feeling the way I do.

I do not want to be a doctor, although the title would be cool as fuck.

But I do believe that even just being there for someone to talk to about things can help. That listening ear without judgement.

If anyone has any thoughts on how to start a group. I do plan on attending some before I venture on my own. But I would like any thoughts on the subject if anyone has any??

I just want to help others. We are a part of society that seems forgotten or pushed under a rug and hidden.